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make a sandwich and even though you don't like mayonaise, put some on. spread it across the bread and on the meat too, even if you don't eat meat, and on the cheese, even if you don't eat cheese, and don't forget the spinach, even if it has e.coli all over it. the thing is, you don't have to eat the sandwich so you can stop sweating. no need to think, "man, this guy with a gun i can't believe in god likes good sandwiches and all the time is running out of this place but he'll shoot me." first of all, i don't have a gun. you made that up because you are insane. second of all, have you ever heard someone unintentionally start off with a first of all and then transition to a b. it's supposed to be unintentionally humorous, way more so than if someone intentionally does it because they saw it on some movie or maybe they thought of it themselves because they are clever. lastly, the sandwich is a metaphor. everything about the situation is a metaphor which means nothing will really happen.

nothing ever really happens.